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Historically speakingmy primary goals, after consuming MDMA, consist of hugging friends, listening to Pet Shop Boys, taking bubble baths and squeezing butts, so when my ad Joel informed me that a stranger pulled a blade…. This guy pulled a knife on my friend so I pummeled him. Historically speaking, my primary goals, after consuming MDMA, consist of hugging friends, listening to Pet Shop Boys, taking bubble baths and squeezing butts, so when my friend Joel informed me that a stranger pulled a ane on him, just a few hours intoI was ryab than excited.
On that particular night, she had collaborated with her upstairs neighbors to throw a three-story apocalyptic drug-fueled rock-and-roll rager. Rya ran up and felt my stomach turn when I saw him in a yelling match with the apparent associates of the knife-wielder. The culprit, who Joel pointed out, stood against a far wall with his cronies oddities ryan and monique dating like a super villain. Perhaps in other circumstances I an have been more heroic but considering we were outnumbered, our enemy had a Rambo blade, and I was about to peak on an over-emotional, gay party drug, I focused my cosmic candy-coated vibes on calming Joel oddities ryan and monique dating.
I put my gooey arm around him and said something wack like:. Perhaps it was the MDMA or the New Year but I had almost automatically relinquished the discomfort brought upon us by the knife incident. And then, just like clockwork, I heard an annoying voice. Our nihilist knife-wielder had spotted Joel and decided to re-engage him only this time the guy was with a sneering witch and a bigger version of himself. Joel was not afraid, and yelled right back. After a little odditie and forth, the hag got hostile and ordered us off oddities ryan and monique dating her premises.
I spoke up and asked Dr. Claw to meet me out front and to that he responded by telling me he would rather handle things on the deck. Then, he slapped me across my face. I tried to step to him but his associate, who was significantly larger than I, odditiez me back and told me to leave. At that point my oddities ryan and monique dating was beyond bewildered. I stepped around my oppressor and lunged at my enemy with an Ibiza trance house haymaker. He was feeling himself so hard, it never occurred to him that someone might actually swing.
He fell straight back and his head crashed into the deck. With the intensity of a rave unicorn I was on top of him, lighting his skull up and likewise having my skull lit up by the screeching witch and God knows who else. For every jab I landed on his unguarded dome, a member of his crew would land one on me, paying it forward with fists. Here he is discussing the fragile human skull. Every time one connected I saw explosions that looked like neon cupcakes and rainbows.
My opponent just lay there, not making a sound, getting his head bounced off the wooden floor, waiting for the violence to cease. The deck was a dance floor of flailing bodies. Everyone was yelling things like. But the cycle of punching continued. Eventually, someone yanked me off of him but I never let go of his collar and pulled him up with me. He tried to run towards the apartment but I gripped hard and swung at him with these cartoonish and terribly ineffective windmill punches.
The hysteria and random blows I soaked up had voided sense of grace or strategy I may have initially displayed and for the last leg of the fight, I just thrashed around aimlessly. I let out this weird yell that could never be imitated by someone not trying to murder another on club drugs and delivered one last shoddy punch to the back of his head as he was ripped away from me.
What appeared to be an army of stylish barbarians lunged for me and I turned on my rocket boosters and jumped through the door to the party. He told me that in the kddities someone immediately snatched him by his tie and onto his back, choking him out. The mob freaked out because they thought they killed him so they poured beer all over him to wake him up. He said it worked and he tried to drink as much of it as possible as he awoke because, that was the only cool thing he could have done in that situation.
Once I realized that I was not going to die, we bounced to a legit rave where I ate more drugs and danced with a girl who is perhaps best described as a dreamy paradise techno mermaid. My friend Allison made me a splint by taping oddities ryan and monique dating Marlboro box to my palm which looked really stupid but ending up being really cool because everyone would ask me what happened and I would get to tell my heroic story over and over again.
Yeah, turns out his name is Ryan Matthew Cohn and he is like quasi-famous in the field of shrunken heads, embalmed baby fetuses, and monkey brains and stuff. That whole fight scenario sounded like a techno version of Sharks vs. Pulling knives on people at hipster parties is a great way to confirm your status as first-rate 21st century tough guy. That guy looks like schweiner, he prob thought he was so cool cause he has some gay show no one watches.
That dudes he didnt datlng stabbed by his own knife. When a person becomes an adult they realize that being mentally anx and in the presence of large numbers of equally mentally incapacitated strangers is extremely foolish. This story was awesome. My mate got punched whilst he was on MDMA. Writing self-congratulatory blog entries about getting into fights at hipster parties is a great way to confirm your status as first-rate 21st century mobique guy.
Dude, I was at this party. This is your hardest out? Blogging about it dude? Grow a pair of fucking balls. With each telling the knife gets a little bigger. A sober re-match filmed for our viewing pleasure by streetboner cameras is the only way to settle this. Not sure how things are handled in North Carolina, I woulda assumed different, but as a boring Brooklyn clone transplant 15, with a bad facial hair, you should think twice before running to tell your awesome fight story to the nearest blog.
You guys were about to fight but Godzilla came in and wrecked everyone! It was ok though because Charles Barkley took care of Godzilla.