For the sake of this article, we'll define an age difference as five years caceptable more. I felt the panic rising in my chest. I'd just done the math. After spending acceptable dating age difference few days trying to adjust to the fact that the handsome co-leader of my small group was seven years my junior, I had just realized that he was actually eight years younger!
I don't know why this one year made such a difference to me. I guess it was because I'd heard two or three stories of the woman being seven years older, so I'd sort of decided that was the outer limit of age difference acceptability. But the fact was, I was 30, and he was And I would hit 31 a month before his next birthday. Feeling defeated, I sat at the small wooden table in Starbucks, where I was meeting Kevin for the first time since my startling discovery.
My mind was reeling. This will never happen, I thought. What was I thinking? Eight years is just too big of a difference. Then he approached the table with the same winning smile … and I thought, or is it? In case you're wondering, I married that guy eight months later. A question I receive often is, "How did you make the decision to date and marry a younger acceptable dating age difference While it's fairly common for a woman to marry an older man, the reverse isn't as much of a social norm.
Travis and Leah, who have been married close to 20 years, met while attending the same six-week missions organization training. When Leah, a national of Singapore, first got to know Travis, who was 10 years her junior, she was attracted to him, but "I tried to tell myself it wouldn't work because of the age difference. I fought those affections like crazy.
But as an undeniable connection formed, Leah finally made a bold request: Although many of the questions I receive are from women who are considering whether or not to date a younger man, many of the same principles apply to the decision-making process regardless of who's older. Here are four things to acceptable dating age difference. Leah says one of her biggest concerns write first email online dating considering a man 10 years younger was whether he had the maturity to understand her needs and take care of her.
I had similar concerns when I met Kevin. From our first conversation, I could tell he was very mature for his age. I guessed he was about Once I learned his actual age, I was concerned acceptable dating age difference he might not be ready to settle down and have a family, when I definitely was. Even some something guys I knew didn't seem ready. But as I observed how he interacted with people at church and did his job, my fears were alleviated.
At one point, he even confided that it had been his dream to have a wife and family since he was a young teen. I realized that Kevin was an "old soul," and we were ready for the same things. I felt removed from their age and current life stage," she says. She and Paul married anyway, and over time the difference in maturity dissipated.
A friend xcceptable told me that the acceptable age difference was half the dfference person's age plus seven. While I don't think it's important dlfference adhere to an arbitrary formula when considering age in a potential relationship interestingly, when I met Kevin our age difference was exactly this differrnceI think it can acceptable dating age difference a good rule of thumb to help you consider if your relationship is appropriate. A 37 year old dating a 25 year old is different from a 30 year old dating an 18 year old.
I often tell people that Kevin and I met at the perfect time. He had graduated from college two months earlier, so we were both ddifference the workforce fulltime. Even though Kevin didn't have as much life experience as I did, our daily lives basically looked the same. If he had still been a "college kid," I might have had a hard time feeling like we were equals. And while the same life stage can seem to erase an age difference, Willy Wooten, a licensed marriage and family therapist, who has been counseling for over 30 years, encourages couples to think ahead.
Wooten's own father was 17 sifference older than his mother. If you hit it off because you both love rock climbing, consider if datig something that will be part of your relationship for years to come. Effect ae the marital relationship. Another concern Leah had was whether she could submit to Travis as a spiritual leader. Aceptable says, "I asked myself, 'Will I be willing to submit even if his leadership is not as mature as I would like?
Leah also worried she might not always be able to meet Travis' physical needs and wondered if he might one day regret marrying an "old woman" who couldn't keep up with all of his activities. If you're considering getting serious with someone significantly older or younger than yourself, these are important things to discuss. How will you address potential challenges, such as being on different biological timetables, one of you counterintuitive dating up a caretaker, the timing of children, or dealing with gaps in maturity?
Before I began dating Kevin, a woman I worked with in children's ministry frequently asked me about him, seeing potential from the start. Finally, one day I blurted, "But he's eight years younger! Age is just a number. As Kevin and I broached some tough topics in conversation at the advice of wise counselsomething occurred to me. The problems we were talking through — for example, what if someday our sex drives didn't match up?
We were just going to be more proactive about them. The bigger question was whether or acceptable dating age difference God was drawing us together. And while we could exercise wisdom in thinking through some of the unique challenges we might face, we could also trust Him with the details. Travis was also tentative when he first developed feelings for Leah.
He explains that during his years at a Bible college, he gave differencs desire for a acceptable dating age difference over to the Lord and acceptable dating age difference Him to determine who his wife would be. After God prompted Travis to say the exact words Leah had been praying for, the answer seemed obvious. We wanted to be obedient to Him," he says. The couple charmed dating app serves together in ministry and has two teenage sons.